T.G.I Want CHILLI'S

Just in case anyone was seriously concerned - the courrier ended up costing me £12.80. Amazing student discount.



So. Chilli's sucks. This is nothing new. Their food sucks, the decorations suck, the waitors' uniforms suck...period.

And yet, I love Chilli's. I love it because English food isn't so hot - trying to pick out something to eat can take me up to 20 minutes, just because they always manage to take a really good dish and then throw in some random shit like vinegar to fuck it all up.

Josh described Chilli's as the brainchild of a bunch of high people, who just thought of all the food they would love to munch out on. I can see it now. "Dude...Endless chips. And an ear of corn should come with EVERY dish..."

Chilli's is not fine dining, goddamnit, but it's home, and when I saw that there was a Chilli's 15 minutes up the road from our house, my first thought was blended margaritas.

Mmmm blended margaritas. Mmmm ICE.

You cannot get ice anywhere. I was sent out to the convenience store to pick up some ice for gin and vodka night, and when I walked in and asked about it, the man looked at me apologetically and said, "No. I don't have any ice. Sometimes I get it, and when I do I'll let you know."

Ice is a fucking precious commodity here. Which normally would be fine - back home I always order my drinks without ice, because the drinks are always cold without ice. Nothing in England is cold without ice. Everything is tepid, lukewarm...pick your gross adjective.

Point is, when I saw the Chilli's ad, the first thing that caught my eye was the giant icy margarita. They have icy, blended margaritas at Chilli's. They have endless chips and corn with almost every meal.

The ferver spread quickly. First to fall was Josh, which was to be expected. Then I snagged Kate Kelly, and finally Billy and Negeen. The rest of the group didn't really get the joke or the enthusiasm. They kept on trying to tell us that Chilli's sucked. Yeah. I know. That's the point.

So the five of us set off on our pilgrimage to Chilli's, singing that babyback ribs song all the way.

We get to the mall. We wander, in search of Chilli's. We come across a...a...a...what's that I see? The striped awning! Mecca! The promised land! CHILLI'S! The huge glass windows, the tex-mex tables with the tiles in the center, the wooden chairs that always feel a little greasy to the touch...are on top of the tex-mex tables with the tile in the center?

...the fuck?

They had closed down. The map we had, that proudly displayed the Chilli's insignia in the bottom right corner, was from 2008. They had shut down June 17, 2009. Ten days before we arrived in Cambridge.

Hopes immediately dashed, we were sulking outside the closed restaurant when up walked a brit with a tongue piercing and a suit on. Kate Kelly made friends with him, and asked where we could get some margaritas.

He named a place, and we went in search of the empty mall for the Great White Hope of margaritas. What we found was another closed restaurant, with holes in the walls.

Cambridge just can't sustain a margarita drinking population, much to our dismay. We ended up going over to the restaurant where we had eaten the two previous nights, because all of their food is under £5, and they have this really good pitcher special called the Godfather, which is pepsi, jack daniels, and disarono amaretto.

But still. I wasn't able to get a margarita until I went to Edinburgh.


Cheers,

P. I. Staker